My Dinner with Gena
A legacy of artistry and kindness
Disclaimer: this post includes a LOT of name-dropping which some people find highly obnoxious. My apologies ahead of time.
I met my friend Geordie when we worked for a theater company on the east coast. She was a dresser (with loads of dishy backstage stories) and I was in the PR department.
Soon after, she decided to become a union hairdresser and moved to New York to work on the bottomless inventory of wigs for Broadway’s “Cats.” Eventually, she became the preferred hairdresser for actress Tyne Daly, which led to TV and movie work, including the series “Judging Amy” and an Emmy nomination for the HBO film, “Temple Grandin.”
Her work can be seen in the “Pirates of the Caribbean” movies and on Javier Bardem’s head in “No Country for Old Men.” She keeps racking up Emmy noms and so far, she has 53 credits on IMDB. She’s a rock star.
I got to visit Geordie in Seattle twice: once backstage at the Paramount Theater when she was Joel Grey’s dresser in a touring revival of “Cabaret” and then on set for a TV film starring Daly and Gena Rowlands.
It was a cold and blustery February day and they were filming near Pioneer Square. This was one of the final days of shooting and Ms. Daly wanted to buy gifts for a few of the crew members, so she sent me to Elliott Bay Books to shop.
A few hours later, I heard one of the recipients describe the lovely gift he had just received. “She really gets me,” he said. I smiled.
The hair trailer was shared by the two leading ladies and they moved in and out during what would be a long day of filming. Most of the rest of the cast had wrapped up their work and left town and members of the production crew kept dropping in to say their goodbyes. After dark, Ms. Rowlands turned to me and asked if I wanted to go to dinner with her. My heart stopped, my throat clutched, and I squeaked out a “yes.” I hope I said something more gracious.
Food services for actors on a film set is not a glamorous operation. There is usually an improvised dining room near the set where craft services must offer something hot and ready whenever actors can get away for a meal break. I dimly remember an almost empty hotel meeting room with tables laid with lots of tablecloths and napkins to make things look a little fancy. I think we got something with beef on rice, but I could be making that up.
What I do remember is that I got to sit across the table from Gena Rowlands and stare into those lovely hazel-grey eyes and study that luxurious head of blonde hair. I was a baby teacher and she asked me if I liked my job and what I was teaching. I mostly remember the questions I was afraid to ask her: do you miss your Don Draper-handsome husband, John Cassavetes? Is it hard being a widow in this business? Do you think you two would have continued to work together on projects?
But I didn’t want to use this brief moment as therapy for either of us, so we chit-chatted. She liked this particular film project because it was directed by the talented Claudia Weill, who had made a splash with the film “Girlfriends” and was one of the few female directors working in the business at the time.
Ms. Rowlands seemed a little tired, but also professional. She was pacing herself through a long last day of shooting. At that point, she had been a working actress for 35 years and looked amazing, but more importantly, she had a natural curiosity about other people. I hope I was respectful and not too full of myself.
Turns out, courtesy and kindness was a core belief of the Rowlands/Cassavetes artistic clan.
A few years later, while at a teacher’s conference in Portland, Oregon, I took myself out to hear some jazz in the lounge of a historic hotel. I sat in the back, at the end of a long table and probably tried to grade some student papers while I listened.
Soon, the table started filling up and I thought I might be horning in on someone else’s reservation. Then I started to recognize the faces of my fellow jazz lovers. First, Ray Baker sat down. He is one of my favorite actors, but he was completely out of context and I didn’t realize what or who I was seeing at first.
Then came white-maned Seymour Cassell, frequent co-star with Ms. Rowlands, followed by Paul McCrane, who I recognized from his theater work but also from the film “Fame.” The world would soon know him as a nasty doctor on “ER.” The ebullient and swarthy Peter Onorati plopped down and immediately described the difficulties of finding good daycare in his Hollywood-adjacent neighborhood. On my left was a serious looking actress whose unconventional looks I liked a lot. And next to her was a shaggy young man whose nose was in a book except to make the occasional pleasantry. He turned out to be Phillip Seymour Hoffman.
They were all working on a short-lived police TV series set in Portland originally called “Rose City,” later retitled “Under Suspicion,” which eventually ran for 18 episodes. And they were nice and fun. Once they found out I was a teacher, they treated me like royalty and we had a great time getting caught up with everybody’s resume. Ray was pleased when I told him I showed “Places in the Heart” each year to my American Studies students.
When I commented on how beautiful the hotel was, Seymour Cassell asked, “Would you like to see my room?” I rolled my eyes and thought What the hell? I can tell him about my dinner with Gena and, whatever happens, I’ll have a great memory.
And he was true to his word: he showed me his hotel room. It was gorgeous, with leaded glass windows, beautiful wood details. A terrific place for an actor on location to settle. Then, we rejoined the group in the lounge. Another act of kindness from the Rowlands/Cassavetes circle.
So, when Ms. Rowlands died this year, that’s what I remembered about her. Not just that she was a brave and beautiful actress who was married to an equally brave and creative husband, but also a deeply kind person.
We should all be so lucky to be remembered that way.
RIP, Gena, and thank you. For everything.
More resources:
2014 Interview with SAG/Broadway World (You Tube)
Link to Cassavetes/Rowlands films in the Criteron Collection
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I love that you got to have dinner with one of my favorite actresses of all time.